My Very Catholic Mother-In-Law sent me this gem earlier in the week. And you thought a guy nailed to a tree was creepy…
From one pumpkin to another!!!!!!!
A woman was asked by a coworker, ‘What is it like to be a Christian?’
The coworker replied, ‘It is like being a pumpkin.’ God picks you from the patch, brings you in, and washes all the dirt off of you.
Then He cuts off the top and scoops out all the yucky stuff. He removes the seeds of doubt, hate, and greed. Then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside of you to shine for all the world to see.’
This was passed on to me by another pumpkin.. Now it’s your turn to pass it to other pumpkins.
I liked this enough to send it to all the pumpkins in my patch.
Just a few thoughts:
1) “He cuts off the top”?!?!?! I used to be a Christian, and I can’t find a theological analogue for what this is supposed to mean. He removes your brain (with thinking for yourself being “yucky stuff”)? A veiled reference to circumcision? WTF?
2) He apparently is kind of sloppy with that spoon, because there are as many “seeds of … hate and greed” in Christians as there are in anyone else.
3) Personally, I like a few “seeds of doubt.” They tend to make the world a little more palatable. Especially when toasted in butter and sprinkled liberally on the spice cake of irrationality that religion feeds people.
4) “He carves you a new smiling face” puts me in mind of Heath Ledger’s Joker.
I’ll think twice before ever calling my kid “pumpkin” after this.